Don’t Wish for it, Work for it

Do you have a secret passion or dream? The society we live in can sometimes feel so negative and un-inspiring. We may feel like it’s all useless, what’s the point of having a dream when we are too scared of what the world will think. Don’t let those voices stop you from making the first step. Maybe no one understands today, or tomorrow..but with daily effort, the improvement and momentum you’ll see will motivate you to keep going.

It’s up to us to go out of our way to seek out our purpose. Each day that goes by with you wishing how things can be changed, is one less day you can actually take action. Keep your head down, stay humble and keep working. The fruit of your labour may not ripe immediately, but will consistent effort, it WILL happen eventually.

Don’t be afraid to fail

Sometimes, life can knock you down.

What you have envisioned for your life has not happened. It seems like you keep trying and failing, trying and failing. It can feel so frustrating, to the point you just don’t even want to put in any more effort.

The truth is ‘successes’ and ‘failures’ are just your own perspectives, and therefore can be changed. You may have ‘failed’ an exam or ‘failed’ to look like that model on Instagram, but that’s just one way of looking at it. Instead, you can think, ‘ah, my previous way of studying didn’t work, now I can try something else.’ Or ‘yea I may not look like a Victoria secret model, but I am kind person, so I am proud of that.’

By failing enthusiastically, it means we take lessons from our mistakes and the things that haven’t gone quite right. We take the failure in our stride and use it as motivation and learning points to continue our journey.

Many times, we learn MORE from failures than from successes. Life is a continuously learning journey and NO one is immune from failure. Often the most ‘successful’ people have had the biggest failures. So, use it to their advantage and embrace it! A perfect journey to success doesn’t exist.

How to feel Happy! 7 Tips

Let’s admit it, no human can feel happy 100% of the time. It’s also not normal to! We should feel an array of different emotions anything from feeling excited, nervous, silly to frustrated and angry. The importance is not to become overwhelmed and identified by any emotion. You may be feeling sad/anxious/frustrated right now, but that doesn’t define you!

That being said, there are somethings you start implementing TODAY to start improving your mood. All efforts add up, right?

  • Sleep
    • Getting a regular sleep routine is one of the most important things you can do for your health. Our bodies and brains NEED to recover. Think it as that vital reset button. When we are sleep deprived, we are more sensitive to negative emotions such as anxiety, stress, fear and anger. Grab a pillow!
  • Get the blood pumping
    • A 20-minute jog, a walk in the park or dancing to Taylor Swift in your bedroom.  Whatever form of movement you enjoy.  Exercise will help us to clear out that sluggish brain fog, improve memory and lift mood! Regular aerobic exercise (the type that gets your heart really pumping) have shown by research to remodel brain functioning.
  • Eat the rainbow
    • Research has shown that those who eat more whole food, plant-based diets have reduced incidence of depression. Eating fruits and vegetables rich in antioxidants can dampen the detrimental effects of oxidative stress on mental health. The pigment found in tomatoes, one of the most powerful antioxidants!
  • Take up a new hobby
    • Challenge yourself to try something you’ve never done before. It could be painting, gardening, knitting. Nothing is out of limits. This life is to be enjoyed and explored. You never know what wonderful discoveries this decision can bring. Don’t be afraid to suck, as long as you’re having fun.
  • Socialise
    • We are more ‘social’ than ever online. However, this can mean our real-life human connections can suffer. Humans are social creatures; we need interaction to feel happy and purposeful. When you need a lift, call up a friend for a coffee or a walk in the park. Nothing beats face-to-face human connection.
  • Do something for Nothing
    • Whether is donating to charity, making a birthday card for a friend, or buying a homeless man a hearty dinner. We need these little acts of kindness to spread around. No act of kindness is too small. The effects will ripple and make the world a happier place.
  • Smile
    • Smiling is one of the simplest and yet powerful ways to spread kindness and happiness to those around you. Humans tend to mirror other people’s facial expressions, so smiling really is contagious.

5 things YOU should do when feeling stressed

  1. Breathe.

When you’re stressed, your breathing rate increases and become shallower. Taking control of your breathing is an immediate way of changing how we feel. Taking slow deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth has been shown by research to activate our parasympathetic nervous system (our body’s rest and digest system). This creates immediate physiological change which you can implement, as well as taking your attention away from a racing mind.

2.Get moving!

Whether it’s running, going to a gym, doing a yoga flow. Physical movement has been shown by research to be incredibly beneficial to health both in the short term and long term. If you feel overwhelmed, just going outside for a quick 20-minute walk can dramatically impact your mood. Try different activities and find one you enjoy love, and try to implement it into your life long-term. Being physically healthy has tremendous effects on our mental wellbeing as well. Find a way to make it work for you! Don’t be afraid to try new things.

3. Speak to a friend, family member or someone you trust

Often when we feel stressed, it can fell overwhelming and isolating. The truth is so many people feel this way. Don’t be afraid of speaking to the people close to you about your feelings. Sometimes, a specific event such as a work deadline can be stressful, other times it can just be living in this modern life. You don’t need to explain your feelings, they aren’t right or wrong things. Just by expressing how you feel can be extremely liberating, even if the other person is listening.

4. Practise mindfulness

You don’t have to all of a sudden become a professional yogi and meditate for an hour a day to get the benefit of mindfulness. In fact, we can practise mindfulness where ever, whenever. It may be sitting still and focusing on your breath or finding an activity which you find calming. If could be drawing, sewing, baking or cleaning.

The point is becoming aware of your mind and not resisting it. You know that constant inner chatter that going on in the background. Next time, become aware of that constant thinking and say to yourself, ‘ah that’s my thinking mind, it’s not me.’

5.Seek out a professional

Even though there are many self-help things out there on the internet. Sometimes, our problem can be more than that. If you suspect that your stress or mental wellbeing is something more serious, or you have had people close to you being worried. Then definitely seek out professional help. There is no shame in your feelings, and  professional workers such as doctors or therapists are trained to help.

What does it mean to Flow with Life?

Growing up, my definition of happiness was a fixed image of glam and success. An envisioned version of an older, wiser me with every aspect of my life sorted. Looks, money, relationship, family and health. A perfect destination to be arrived. I would spend my teenage and young adult life battling with extremely low self-esteem and confidence, all to hope that one day all my suffering and problems will dissolve. One day it all will be fixed.  I’m sure so many people share these feelings. I understand how frustrating it might seem when things do not go the way you envisioned. It feels overwhelming, as if your whole existence is being challenged.

I had such fixed tunnel vision. I thought I could carefully pave out a perfect path to success and happiness. All I had to do was avoid any obstacles that might come my way. I was brought up in an environment where rigid rational thinking was praised. Creativity and interpretive thinking were deemed ‘fluffy’ and ‘not scientific’.  I struggled so much with my self-identity and what to believe as the truth. 

My previous rigid way of thinking stems from the belief that as long as I obey the rules of life dictated by our society, then I must deserve happiness and success. Life surely is fair? All the movies and books have taught me so. Overtime, the more I educated myself, the more life experiences I gained, the less I was sure of everything. From the knowledge of my textbooks to the functioning of our society, I felt so little, so clueless.

Sometimes a truly painful experience can make you question everything, throw out any preconceptions you had on the ways of this universe and forces you to look within. Through a lot of reflection, reading, meditation and learning, I’ve realised that my previous idea of finding happiness was deluded. Such thing can’t possibly ever exist, because life is constantly changing. The impermanence of our existence means that no possible projection of a future state of happiness can last. Happiness really isn’t a destination to be reached, but the journey of self-discovery. Only recently I feel like I have progressed from understanding the meaning of inner happiness on an intellectual level to actually experiencing it. I want to document this journey here on this blog and am delighted to have you here on this space.